


The Hardest Fought Victories

by chajatta



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, maybe a tiny bit of praise kink, mentions of retirement, mentions of sporting injury, mild misunderstandings, post pyeongchang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 12:39:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13975320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chajatta/pseuds/chajatta
Summary: The Olympics are over and Yuzuru is leaving Pyeongchang as a double Olympic champion. It's everything he'd wanted and more than he could have hoped for, so why is it the weight of loss, and not his gold medal, that he feels hanging so heavily around his neck?





	The Hardest Fought Victories

**Author's Note:**

> I'm very new to figure skating but then Pyeongchang happened, I had an existential crisis, and had to express my emotions through the medium of fanfic. I have no idea how this ended up as long as it is. Also tweaked part way through the writing process after Javi's revelation that the bombshell he'd dropped on us wasn't the bombshell we all thought it was. 
> 
> For W, my partner on my descent into figure skating hell <3

The Olympic Village is a hive of activity by the time Yuzu gets back from the Closing Ceremony. 

Shoma and Kaori peel off from the group once they’re at the hotel, but Yuzu allows himself to be whisked away to the bar with very little protest. Satoko shoots him a knowing smile from beneath her lashes and Yuzu returns it, his cheeks still rosy red and sharp from the cold. 

The other skaters start getting their drinks in but Yuzu politely declines every offer of alcohol that comes his way. He doesn’t normally drink at these things and he doesn’t intend to tonight, either. He wants his senses clear, wants to remember every moment of what he knows, deep down, is his last Olympic games. 

His preparation for this games has been so harried, so hampered by his injury, that Yuzu hasn’t been able to think about anything beyond the present. Whether he’d even make it to Pyeongchang at all was so uncertain, right up until the last moment, that Yuzu hasn’t allowed himself to consider what happens next. But now the games are over. They’re over and they went better than Yuzu could have ever hoped or wished for. Yet now, even as the double Olympic champion, Yuzu feels the heavy weight of loss around his neck as keenly as his new gold medal.

The closing ceremony has been something of a catalyst, releasing all of the emotion Yuzu had refused to allow himself to feel in the build up to the games. He fully intends to soak up every moment he can of this evening, of this moment in time he’d thought, for a quiet moment, he would never have again. 

Yuzu’s been nursing a coke at the bar for about thirty minutes, allowing the sounds of the other skaters, the other athletes, their merriment, to relax his body, to draw out the tension in his muscles until he’s a loose and light as he’s like to get. A few of the others had hung around for a while and Yuzu was happy to chat, to laugh at their jokes and share in their excitement, but he shakes his head no at any invites to come and join them in a booth. Yuzu is happy to sit alone for now, quietly taking it all in.

It isn’t long before Yuzu hears another set of feet approaching from behind, followed by a light touch to his waist.

“There you are,” Javi says, his voice loud and clear in Yuzu’s ear above the buzz of the bar. 

“Here I am,” Yuzu hums in reply, his lips curving up into a soft, secret smile. They haven’t seen much of each other since the free skate, and the medal ceremony, and the night they’d spent together afterwards. That had been frantic and fast, almost unbearably rushed. They’d slipped away from the media and their coaches, dodged a sly smile from Brian, and come together in Javi’s hotel room. Wound up and overwrought as they were, it hadn’t taken long until they were both spent, emotionally and physically drained from the sheer weight of everything that had come before. 

“I wasn’t sure I’d find you here,” Javi says. He slides his hand from Yuzu’s waist and up his back, rests it on his shoulder briefly before pulling away to slide onto the bar stool next to him. Yuzu appraises him silently. Javi is still wearing his team Spain puffer jacket and his face is flushed, his eyes dark and bright. “But I thought I should check before I went upstairs.” 

“I want to enjoy this,” Yuzu says softly. “For last time, all of this.” He gives Javi a look and Yuzu sees his entire face soften. He doesn’t want to be melancholy but it’s difficult not to be. Yuzu isn’t ready to retire, not just yet, but it’s impossible to ignore the significance of what this last Olympics really means, the likelihood of this being the last time he and Javi will share a podium together, the last time they’ll even compete against each other. Yuzu clears his throat and looks down at his drink. “But also I waiting.”

“Yeah?” Javi is leaning in close, the thick sleeve of his coat brushing against Yuzu’s arm. It has goosebumps springing up along Yuzu’s skin. 

“Yeah,” Yuzu repeats. The thought of losing Javi, of no longer having Javi by his side constantly, sits heavily in the pit of Yuzu’s stomach like a rock. But Javi is here now, close but not close enough, looking at Yuzu like he understands, like he gets it. Because of course he does. It’s a different ending for Javi, sure, a bigger one almost certainly, but it’s an ending all the same, and Yuzu knows that he isn’t the only one feeling it acutely. 

“I thinking maybe we go upstairs,” Yuzu says. His long fingers are looped loosely around his glass but he’s no longer paying any attention to it. Yuzu only has eyes for Javi. Yuzu has only ever had eyes for Javi. “Unless you want enjoy this, also? A drink?”

Javi has one hand resting on top of the bar, inches away from Yuzu’s, and their arms are still brushing, but it isn’t enough. It isn’t nearly enough. Yuzu wants Javi all over him, wants to feel the warmth of his bare skin, the puff of his breath, the sharp scratch of stubble against his cheeks. If Javi wants to stay then Yuzu will stay, for as long as Javi wants, but he hopes he doesn’t have to, he hopes-

“No, no, I’m good. I only came here to find you.” Javi knocks his knee against Yuzu’s beneath the bar. “We can go upstairs.” 

Yuzu doesn’t need more encouragement than that. He pushes his still half full glass of coke to the end of the bar and stands, Javi’s body brushing up against his as he does the same. Yuzu grabs his discarded scarf and gloves from the back of his chair and holds them in a ball against his chest as the two of them leave the bar together. Yuzu is certain they’ll be seen but at this point, he thinks, it’s academic. This thing between them has been going on for long enough now that anyone who was going to see them leaving a room together and figure it out would have done so long before tonight. 

Still, they don’t touch any more than necessary as they stride through the hotel lobby and ride the lift upstairs together. Their rooms are on the same floor, although at opposite ends, but by some unspoken agreement they head towards Yuzu’s. Yuzu digs his keycard out and opens the door, bumping it with his hip as he passes through. 

Yuzu toes off his boots, hangs his hat and scarf neatly, and waits until he hears the sounds of Javi locking the door behind him before Yuzu turns and descends upon him. 

Javi’s mouth is searing hot beneath his and Yuzu feels his lips curling into a sweet smile, even as he opens up to Yuzu, allows Yuzu to slide his tongue into his mouth. Yuzu’s hands go to the zipper of Javi’s coat and he slides it down smoothly.

“Is this what you were waiting for?” Javi teases as Yuzu steps away to pull Javi’s zipper free. Yuzu knows his eyes must be blazing as he looks up, drags his hands all the way up to Javi’s shoulders to push his coat off. 

“Yes,” Yuzu says simply. “Waiting for you. It’s been too long,” Javi laughs and Yuzu frowns, lips pursed as squeezes Javi’s shoulder just this side of too hard. “I’m thinking even when I’m back in Japan, this is nice, with my gold medal and doing the media. But would be nice, too, to come back to Korea and be with Javi. We don’t have much time.” Javi looks like he’s going to interrupt but Yuzu shakes his head, smoothing his hand up Javi’s neck and stroking the strong line of his jaw with his thumb. “I don’t want waiting anymore.”

“Me neither,” Javi breathes. “But Yuzu, I’m not- when I said this is my last Olympics, I didn’t mean- you know that when I retire I’m leaving the circuit but I’m not-“

Yuzu smiles and it’s much sadder than he intends for it to be. He knows Javi is trying to make him feel better, to reassure him about the future and what it might mean for them, but this isn’t what he wants tonight to be about. Tonight he just wants it to be about them, here and now, present for each other. “Not now, Javi, okay? Please. I just want to be with you and enjoy this time we have.” 

Javi still has that look on his face, his eyes deep and sorrowful like he wants to say more but he doesn’t and Yuzu is immensely grateful for it. Instead Javi turns his face into the palm that’s still cradling his jaw. “Okay,” he says, his breath hot against Yuzu’s palm. “Yeah, okay.” 

Yuzu smoothes his thumb over Javi’s bottom lip, presses in just a little further when Javi opens beneath him. “Lovely Javi,” Yuzu mumbles, pressing the pad of his thumb against Javi’s teeth before pulling away again. 

They finally move away from the doorway, Yuzu’s hand sliding down from Javi’s face to rest on his shoulder once more as he guides Javi down to lie on his back on the bed. Yuzu clambers on top of him, seating himself firmly over Javi’s pelvis. 

“Already?” Yuzu says. His smile is sly as he looks down at Javi and he rocks his hips back minutely when Javi laughs and pushes up. 

“Yeah, well. You were right, it has been too long.” It hasn’t even been a week, in reality, since the free programme, but one harried night hadn’t been enough, not when they have so much time to make up for. 

Javi reaches out and puts his hands either side of Yuzu’s hips, squeezing. His fingers go beneath Yuzu’s jacket and t-shirt, touching the hot skin of his waist, and Yuzu closes his eyes briefly. Even that tiny touch sparks something deep in the pit of his stomach, something primal and raw. He wants Javi in a way that he has never wanted him before, with a need that’s almost compulsive. 

When he opens them again, Javi is gazing up at him, his cheeks flushed now for an entirely different reason. Yuzu shifts again, grinding back against Javi’s growing hard-on once more before putting his hands on the inside of Javi’s thighs. Javi gets the hint, spreading his legs, and Yuzu grins up at him before sliding into the space between them. He hooks his fingers over Javi’s waistband and pulls his track pants and underwear down, pressing light kisses to every inch of skin until he’s down by Javi’s feet, his back hunched, lips hovering over the light bones of Javi’s ankle. 

Javi breathes out his name from above and Yuzu lifts his head briefly to look at him. Yuzu kisses one ankle, the other, and then moves back up over his legs, until he’s level with Javi’s crotch. Yuzu watches Javi’s face as he takes him in hand, delights in the way Javi’s eyelids flutter when Yuzu curls his thumb and forefinger around the head of his cock and squeezes gently. 

“Should I?” Yuzu asks. He rubs the pad of his thumb over the slit of Javi’s cock and the way Javi’s hips jerk beneath the touch makes Yuzu’s stomach tighten. 

“Please, Yuzu.” 

Yuzu could make him beg for it, could reduce Javi to a shuddering wreck with just his hand, but he finds that he doesn’t want to. Tonight isn’t the night for games. Tonight he just wants to be close to Javi, to make him feel as good as he possibly can. 

Yuzu dips his head down low and licks one short, quick stripe up the side of Javi’s cock before taking him into his mouth. He slides his hand down to hold Javi steady but his mouth stays around the head, tongue curled beneath the crown of his cock, working Javi hot and wet, just the way Yuzu knows he likes it. Before long he feels a hand on his face, a thumb smoothing just below his eye, and Yuzu looks up. 

Javi looks magnificent like this. His t-shirt gapes around his throat and Yuzu marvels at the way Javi’s Adam’s apple bobs around each gasp of Yuzu’s name, short and soft and sweet. Yuzu feels Javi’s hands come up to cradle his head, hands carding through his hair gently. He doesn’t pull, doesn’t try to guide Yuzu anywhere, just supports him, one palm cupping the crown of his skull and the other moving to Yuzu’s temple, his cheek, the curve of his chin. Javi’s fingers brush the swell of his own cock through Yuzu’s cheek and Yuzu laughs at they way he flinches, entire body trembling. 

“Yuzu, you are just-“ Javi’s voice is thick and rich with desire as he lifts his head down to look at Yuzu. Yuzu shifts up, supporting himself on one elbow, and focuses his attention around the head of Javi’s cock. When Javi doesn’t say anything further Yuzu hums his encouragement. “Good. You are so good.” Yuzu sucks, hard, and Javi keens. His lips part when Javi’s thumb brushes against the corner of his mouth. “I’m gonna come if you keep that up.”

As nice as it would be to have Javi come in his mouth, to make him unravel just from that, Yuzu has plans for him. He reluctantly pulls up and off, licking his lips as he pushes himself up onto both hands so he can lean up over Javi and press their mouths together. Javi is solid and so incredibly real beneath him. His hands are settled either side of Yuzu’s waist, now, and he strokes the skin there as they kiss, fingers trailing up under Yuzu’s t-shirt to rest at the small of his back. 

“All night I could kiss you, Javi,” Yuzu hums as he pulls back. Javi is gazing up at him with eyes blown dark with desire and the temptation is there to do just that, to dip his head back down and kiss and kiss and kiss Javi, until both of their mouths are swollen and bruised. Yuzu doesn’t, though. Instead, he sits back up, and pulls his t-shirt up over his head. Yuzu pushes his hands up under Javi’s shirt, flicking at Javi’s nipples just to hear him gasp as he does, and then pulls up until Javi is naked beneath him. 

Javi’s top falls from Yuzu’s hands and lands somewhere over the side of the bed, but Yuzu is too preoccupied with the miles of bare skin before him to care overly. They’ve seen each other like this more times than Yuzu could possibly count, but having Javi here like this, now, in his bed, is a privilege and an honour that Yuzu doesn’t intend to waste. 

“Hey,” Javi shifts beneath him and Yuzu blinks to clear his head. He can feel Javi’s cock pressed against his ass through his track pants and it makes Yuzu ache. “That’s not fair, you sitting there looking like that.” Javi’s hands are still tracing over his hips, his waist, dancing over his ribs. 

“Like what?” It’s rich of Javi to say the way Yuzu looks isn’t fair, when Javi is sprawled out beneath him the way he is, his lips wet and chest heaving. 

“Like a dream, Yuzu.” Both of Javi’s hands stroke up either side of Yuzu’s torso, now, and goosebumps spring up beneath his warm palms as Javi moves up and up. Yuzu’s t-shirt catches on his wrists and Javi growls as he grasps it and pulls. Yuzu obliges, lifting his arms up above his head so that Javi can drag his t-shirt up and off. He’s slow to lower them, afterwards, and when Yuzu does he places both palms flat against Javi’s chest and leans forward, dishevelled hair falling across his forehead. 

“Not a dream, Javi,” Yuzu breathes. Javi’s heartbeat is thundering beneath Yuzu’s hands and leans down to kiss him again, fast and hard. “We did it. Both of us. Olympic medalists.” It’s been a few days, now, long enough for the reality of it to start sinking in, the reality of what the two of them have achieved. This might be a solo sport and Yuzu’s main goal was always to win, to stand on the top of that podium, but he hadn’t been lying when he’d spoken to the media. Those were genuine tears of happiness he’d been shedding for Javi, to finally get the Olympic medal he so desperately deserved. After winning gold himself, Yuzu couldn’t have asked for a better outcome than to have Javi on one side of him and Shoma on the other. 

“Yeah,” Javi breathes. He still looks a little shell shocked by it all. One of his hands is resting on Yuzu’s shoulder, his thumb rubbing circles in the junction where it meets his neck. “Double Olympic gold medallist.” The movement of Javi’s thumb stops and he moves his hand to the back of Yuzu’s neck instead, cradling it. “I’m so proud of you, Yuzu.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you.” They’ve been over this before; Yuzu will tell anyone that will listen about what Javi has meant to him over the past six years, what he has meant to Yuzu’s skating journey. It might seem trite, and Yuzu knows he has had to put in his own hard work and effort, but Javi played a huge part in allowing him to do that. “I’m very proud of us.”

The smile playing about Javi’s mouth is fond and Yuzu moves down again to taste it. Javi’s tongue slides into his mouth, his thumb pressing hard at the nape of his neck, and Yuzu groans. He rocks his hips back and delights in the way Javi curses beneath him. 

“Why are you still wearing pants?” Yuzu huffs against his mouth and pulls back. 

“Wait a minute. I get them off.” He’s loathe to climb out of Javi’s lap but Yuzu does, clambering up off the bed so that he can wriggle out of his pants and underwear. Yuzu can feel the weight of Javi’s gaze on him as he undresses but Yuzu takes his time, folding his pants carefully and placing them on the chair by the side of the bed before leaning over Javi once more. 

Yuzu could quite happily stay here like this, hands planted either side of Javi’s head, looming over him, drinking in every inch of Javi’s naked body beneath him. But Javi clearly has other ideas. He grasps Yuzu firmly by the waist and tugs him back onto the bed. Yuzu uses the momentum to roll them and they’re both laughing by the time they come to a stop. Yuzu is the one on his back now, with Javi half draped over him, one hand still curled around Yuzu’s hip. 

“Naked, like you want,” Yuzu hums, lifting his hands to run his palms, slow and deliberate, up Javi’s chest. “Now what you do, Javi?” That air of laughter still lingers faintly between them, as does the heavy sense of loss, but Yuzu refuses to allow that particular demon to seep in any more deeply than it already has. Hands still flat over Javi’s heart, Yuzu lifts up, plants his feet on the mattress and spreads his legs. Yuzu _feels_ Javi’s chest tighten.

“Gonna fuck you, Yuzu,” Javi groans. “Would you like that?” The night of the free skate, they’d fallen into bed together, high on adrenaline and Yuzu’s injured ankle throbbing. Javi had ridden him hard and fast, their medals clanking together every time Yuzu had reached up to touch him, and it had been incredible, the way Javi had felt around him, had looked above him, as he’d fallen apart. But now that isn’t what Yuzu wants and Javi knows it. 

“Yeah, I’d like it.” Yuzu flicks his thumb lightly over one of Javi’s nipples and grins at the gasp that elicits. “Would like if you do it and not just talking.”

The laugh that explodes from Javi’s throat is deep and exasperated. “You are just-“ he shakes his head and releases his grip on Yuzu, leaning over his body to rummage on the nightstand for lube and a condom. When he returns he dips down to press a fierce kiss to Yuzu’s mouth. 

For all his goading Yuzu is more than content to just kiss Javi again and he groans into Javi’s warm, wet mouth when he takes Yuzu’s bottom lip between his teeth and tugs just this side of too rough. By the time he pulls away Yuzu’s lips feel bruised and swollen. 

“Do you want to prep yourself?” Javi asks against his throat. Yuzu likes to do it himself more often than not, stretching his long legs out and pressing two fingers up into himself, three, as Javi watches. He shakes his head and squeezes Javi’s sides tightly between his thighs. 

“Javi do it.” There’s the sharp scrape of teeth over his pulse point, his clavicle, and then Javi is lifting his head. He nuzzles his nose against Yuzu’s temple and then nods. 

“Yeah, alright. You just relax, I’ll make you feel good,” Javi promises. “I’ll take care of you.”

That would rankle, coming from anyone else, but those words from Javi make Yuzu feel warm and soft and more loved than he cares to think about. Not now. 

Yuzu watches as Javi sits back on his haunches and uncaps the lube. He squirts a generous amount over his fingers and rubs some warmth into it, but instead of slipping his hand down between Yuzu’s legs he reaches out and curls his fingers around Yuzu’s cock. It’s the first time either of them have taken him in hand tonight and the shock of the touch, so confident and assured, has Yuzu’s hips flinching upwards. 

“Easy, Yuzu,” Javi breathes, his thumb pressing right beneath the crown of Yuzu’s cock and drawing his foreskin back slowly. Yuzu moans, louder than he intends, and he frowns when Javi laughs. He does it again, and again, teasing Yuzu with the touch. 

“Not talking but still no preparing- oh, Javi-“ Yuzu gasps, pushing his hips up again as Javi closes his hand around the tip of Yuzu’s cock and grinds his palm down against it. Yuzu is so sensitive there and he could come like this in no time at all if Javi keeps it up but he doesn’t want to, not until he gets Javi inside him. 

“I know, I’m getting there.” Javi finally relents, smiling knowingly at Yuzu as he releases his cock. Yuzu watches as he squirts more lube onto his fingers and then finally lowers himself down onto one elbow and drops his hand between Yuzu’s legs. The first touch of his index finger against Yuzu’s entrance is light, testing, and Yuzu has to resist the urge to reach down and take hold of Javi’s wrist, to guide him. He’d said he wanted Javi to do this and he does.

Finally Javi slides one finger inside him, easing all the way in to his knuckle in a single easy motion. It isn’t enough but Javi doesn’t tease him for long, this time. He slips a second finger in almost immediately, twisting his wrist as he works Yuzu open around them. By the time he’s three fingers deep Yuzu is panting, his toes curling into the sheets every time Javi finds his prostate. 

“Is that nice, cariño?” Javi asks and Yuzu feels his entire body shudder. 

“Mm, it’s nice.” Javi’s free hand is running up and down his thigh, fingers tickling along the seam where it meets his pelvis, and between that and they way he’s rubbing up inside him, Yuzu’s head feels like it’s been stuffed with cotton wool, his entire body flushed with pleasure. “Inside me now.” 

Javi nods and carefully pulls his fingers free. The loss feels stark but Yuzu takes the opportunity to catch his breath, pushing himself up onto his elbows so he can watch as Javi tears open the condom. It’s more than a little gratifying to see that his hands are shaking as he rolls it on. 

“Come on, Javi,” Yuzu encourages, planting his feet more firmly on the bed and lifting his hips. Javi’s eyes are impossibly dark, his pupils blown, and he closes them altogether as he shifts in closer between Yuzu’s legs and lines himself up against him. 

The first press of Javi’s cock inside him is glorious. Yuzu moans, long and loud, his voice quavering around Javi’s name. Javi laughs but he doesn’t stop, draping himself over Yuzu so that they’re pressed chest to chest as he slides all the way in. They slot together so close and so tight that Yuzu’s skin tingles everywhere Javi touches. Javi doesn’t move for a long moment and Yuzu allows himself to luxuriate in the feeling, the sensation of being so full, until he feels Javi’s hands smoothing over his waist, fingers stroking over the dip of his abs before moving to his ribs. 

“Okay?” Javi asks and Yuzu nods, hair falling across his face. This is all Yuzu has wanted for days; just himself and Javi, locked away from everything, the media circus, talk of his injury, of Javi’s impending retirement. Just the two of them, together as partners and as friends. Now that Yuzu has it he fully intends to make the most of it. 

Yuzu squeezes Javi tightly between his thighs, the muscles bunching as he wraps one leg around Javi’s waist and presses him closer. “Hey, be careful,” he laughs, even as he gets the hint and starts to move. “You could suffocate a man with those legs.” Yuzu grins. 

The motion of Javi’s hips is slow and deep as he rocks into Yuzu and it’s so different to the last time they’d had sex. That had been frantic and desperate, fuelled almost entirely by adrenaline. Now Yuzu feels like he’s committing his lover to memory. Yuzu knows they’ll see each other again somewhere and it isn’t as though the two of them aren’t used to spending long stretches of time apart, but they have always at least had Toronto as a base. Now the future feels open and more uncertain than Yuzu is entirely comfortable with; he needs to immerse himself in this moment, memorise every inch of Javi’s skin, the sound of his breathing and the pounding of his heart, to tide him over until next time. 

“I can almost hear you thinking,” Javi whispers from near his temple. Yuzu startles, blinking rapidly to clear his head. He hadn’t meant to lose himself in his own head but it’s so easy, sometimes, for his mind to skip away from him. 

“I’m sorry,” Yuzu starts but Javi hushes him, hips stilling as he dips his head down and brings their mouths together. It’s only a quick, barely there brush of their lips, but Yuzu tilts his head and chases after it when Javi pulls away all the same. 

“Don’t be sorry. I get it.” Javi soothes his thumb over the thin skin under Yuzu’s right eye and then tweaks the end of his nose playfully. Yuzu clenches around him in retaliation and it’s incredibly satisfying to see the way Javi’s eyelids flutter. “You’ve been through a lot recently and-“

“We,” Yuzu interrupts. “We been through a lot.”

Javi’s entire face softens. “Yeah, we have. We’re both exhausted,” Javi says. From here Yuzu can see the dark circles under his eyes, the shadows of exertion lingering there from weeks, months, of tension and hard work. All chasing towards one final goal. Yuzu knows he looks much the same. “But I’m here with you, okay?” Javi nuzzles his nose along Yuzu’s hairline and then lower, kissing his cheek, his jaw, before trailing down his neck. “I’m here.”

Javi’s mouth tickles as it travels down and down, his stubble scratching along the rise of Yuzu’s clavicle. 

“Want you, Javi,” Yuzu groans, reaching to cradle the back of Javi’s head to draw him up again. 

“You already have me,” Javi says. He raises himself up onto his knees, just a little, and rocks his hips forward. They both gasp, Yuzu closing his eyes against the pleasure of it when Javi hooks his hands under Yuzu’s thighs and lifts, hitching his hips up just a fraction. “I promise, okay? For as long as you want me, alright?”

Yuzu nods, licks his lips. Javi’s fingers dig into his quads and Yuzu finally allows himself to relax, to sink into it. He rocks his hips up as best he can, meeting Javi’s slow thrusts into him, and smiles when Javi just grips him harder. 

They carry on like that for a while, Javi pushing slow and deliberate inside him. Yuzu’s hands roam over every inch of Javi they can reach, his chest and his sides, sliding down his back to grip his ass and press him in closer. Javi is panting above him, his cheeks flushed, and Yuzu doesn’t think he’s ever looked more beautiful. 

Without warning Yuzu drags one of his legs free from Javi’s grasp. He sees Javi’s eyes flicker upwards, questioning, but before he has a chance to speak Yuzu swings it up in one long, easy motion and hooks it over Javi’s shoulder. 

“Fuck, Yuzu.” Javi’s answering growl is guttural and his hips stutter, just a little, as he adjusts to the new angle. It brings them incredibly close together, enough that Yuzu can see every eyelash and freckle and wrinkle. “You are incredible. Let me just-“

Javi holds onto his knee, his palm sweaty against Yuzu’s skin, as the other pushes at his waist until Yuzu gets the hint, rolling so that his body is pitched off to the side. Yuzu cries out as he moves, breath catching in his throat, and Javi’s grip on him tightens. 

“Are you alright? Is it too much?” He asks. Yuzu shakes his head vigorously, sweat slick fringe flying up off his forehead. 

“Good. So good, Javi.” It’s straining the thigh he has flung over Javi’s shoulder, in truth, but it doesn’t hurt. The sensation is more like a twinge than anything, an itch that he can’t scratch. The pay off is worth it, though, for the way it has Javi shifting where he’s pressed inside. “ _Please._ ”

Javi nods, looking more than a little dazed, and lowers himself down to lie snug against Yuzu’s chest. He releases his grip on Yuzu’s knee, snaking his hand down between their bodies to take Yuzu’s cock in hand. Yuzu whines, pushing his hips upwards into the touch. 

“I’ve got you, cariño,” he soothes. His lips stay parted and Yuzu offers himself up for a kiss, moaning openly into Javi’s mouth as he continues to work him with slow and almost lazy twists of his wrist. 

Pleasure is coiling in the pit of his stomach as they rock together. Lying side by side like this makes it difficult to push up too much, but Javi is so deep inside him, and Yuzu can feel every beat of his heart, feel every inhale and exhale against his own ribcage. It’s exactly what he’d wanted. 

“Javi, I’m-“ Yuzu starts, tapering off with a helpless whimper. Javi drags his thumb over the head of Yuzu’s cock, smearing through the precome that’s leaking out, and Yuzu’s entire body shudders. He feels wrung out, drained, and desperate for it. He lapses briefly into Japanese, quiet and breathless, but Javi catches it. 

“That’s it, Yuzu. You’re amazing,” Javi breathes, rocking up into him a little erratically now. “You’re so good. Are you gonna come?”

“Yes, _oh_ -” Yuzu can feel it building, pulling inside him. Their bodies are slick with sweat, sliding everywhere that they’re touching. Yuzu throws his other leg over Javi’s hips and bears down, clenching hard around Javi’s cock. Javi moans, breath hot where it fans across Yuzu’s cheeks, hand tightening around Yuzu and then he loses it. Yuzu’s eyes squeeze shut and he comes with a long, low whine, spilling all over Javi’s hand and both of their stomachs. 

He’s vaguely aware of Javi speaking to him, but the words are just white noise, filtering straight in through one ear and out of the other. His hand is still moving, milking the last of Yuzu’s orgasm out of him until it’s almost too much. Yuzu’s entire body is trembling, curling tight around Javi’s. He opens his eyes when he feels himself being rolled back over onto his back. 

“God, Yuzu, you are _phenomenal_ ,” Javi moans. He’s fucking into Yuzu hard, now, one hand hooked beneath Yuzu’s thigh to keep his leg about his waist as the other braces against the mattress. He doesn’t hold out for much longer before he’s coming too, face buried into the wet dip of Yuzu’s throat as he empties himself into the condom. 

Javi’s hips continue to stutter for just a moment until he finally stills, the two of them wrapped around each other like vines. The sound of their breathing is ragged in the quiet but it’s a good long moment before either of them makes to move. 

Eventually Yuzu lifts a hand, stroking it over Javi’s sweaty brow. He murmurs something in Japanese, his voice low and sweet, smiling when Javi’s forehead wrinkles. 

“What’s that you’re saying about me?” 

Yuzu chuckles and smoothes the pad of his thumb down over Javi’s nose before pulling his hand back. “I saying Javi is very heavy and smelly and must let me up now. Also, leg will cramping soon.”

Javi snorts but he moves to get up. “Charming,” he says. They both know that isn’t what Yuzu said, but it feels like almost too much to repeat himself in English, too raw. Javi carefully helps to ease Yuzu’s leg down, massaging the bunched up muscles as he straightens his leg out. “Okay?” he asks again, thumbs massaging little circles. 

Yuzu smiles. “Okay.”

Javi climbs off him to discard the condom and Yuzu lies back, indulges in the view until Javi returns to the bed with a handful of tissues to clean them both up. 

Once he’s done Javi flops back down heavily, scooting across the mussed bed to Yuzu’s side. Yuzu curls himself around Javi’s body immediately, one leg flung over Javi’s hips and an arm around his waist. They don’t get many chances to just hold one another like this afterwards and who knew when they would again. Yuzu has no intention of letting Javi go until he absolutely has to. 

Javi seems just as happy to cuddle. He has one arm thrown around Yuzu’s shoulders and he’s tracing patterns over Yuzu’s bicep, his fingers cool against Yuzu’s heated skin. The sensation is soothing and Yuzu can feel himself slowly starting to drift off, eyelids heavy and his head lolling against Javi’s shoulder. He’s almost gone when he feels Javi shift a little beside him. 

“Yuzu, listen, before you fall asleep, we need to talk.” 

The sweet, warm embrace of sleep immediately dissipates and Yuzu pushes his face into Javi’s throat with a groan. 

“Now?”

“Yes, now.” Javi’s voice sounds amused and ever so fond. Yuzu sighs and reluctantly lifts his head. Javi draws his hand down Yuzu’s body, trailing over his ribs and waist, his hip, before finally settling on his thigh. He pulls Yuzu closer. “I don’t want there to be any misunderstanding between us.” 

Yuzu frowns. “What you mean?” he asks, shifting to lean his weight back on one elbow so that he can see Javi’s face properly. “Misunderstanding about what?”

“About my retirement.” Yuzu tenses up but he steels himself, lips pursed as he nods. Javi chuckles and Yuzu’s frown deepens. “Don’t look like that. I don’t ever want to stop skating but my body can’t handle it at this level for much longer. I need to take a break. I need to rest.”

Yuzu nods slowly. Just because he doesn’t like that doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand it. He doesn’t know what Javi thinks he’s misunderstood. Yuzu looks down at his partner impassively and waits for him to continue. Javi strokes over his knee before speaking again. 

“I’m going to move back to Spain. I want to do as much as I can to get figure skating to be taken seriously while I still have the momentum of the Olympics behind me.” These are all things Yuzu already knows and he isn’t sure why Javi feels like he needs to tell him again. Yuzu’s about to open his mouth and ask when Javi squeezes his knee and continues.

“But I’m also not ready to stop entirely,” Javi says carefully. His eyes are dark as he studies Yuzu’s face. Yuzu still feels like he’s missing something. “I’m thinking that I could still do some competitions. Europeans, you know? Maybe some ice shows?”

Yuzu’s brow creases. “You say retiring,” he starts, sitting up as he appraises Javi. “Last Olympics, you say to me.”

“Yeah, last Olympics for sure,” Javi says, laughing, “but I never said anything about a full retirement. I’m too old to keep up with the rest of you for a full season, but I’m not ready to leave competition behind completely. Not yet.”

Javi’s eyes are sparkling, his brow wet with sweat. Yuzu grips him by the shoulders and shakes him, hard. 

“You are _worst_ ,” Yuzu accuses, fingers digging in hard enough that Javi’s skin is turning white beneath his touch. “I can’t believe- You are such a bad man,” Yuzu breathes, laughing wetly. 

“I know, I’m sorry,” Javi apologises. “I wanted to explain but between the ceremonies and all the media and everything, there was never enough time or it wasn’t the right place. You deserved to be told properly.”

Yuzu can feel the tears brimming and he releases the grip he has on Javi to press the heels of his hands roughly against his eyes to stop them from spilling. He doesn’t bother to try and hide them from Javi. He couldn’t even if he wanted to, not with the way he’s still half straddling Javi, his leg still hooked over Javi’s hips. 

“Hey,” Javi says softly. Yuzu feels hands on his wrists and he lets Javi pull them down, lace their fingers together. He kisses the back of Yuzu’s right hand, then his left, then raises them both so that they wipe Yuzu’s tears away together. “I hope these are happy tears.”

Yuzu sniffles and squeezes Javi’s hands. “Some happy, some sad,” he says with a shrug. 

Javi nods in understanding and leans in closer to knock their noses together, to press a quick kiss to Yuzu’s mouth. Yuzu can taste the salt of his own tears on Javi’s lips. 

“I know. It won’t be the same but I’ll be around a little. I’ll still need help from Brian and Tracy if I want to have any hope of winning Europeans.”

“I understand. You should do what you need to do. Europeans and- and make skating big in Spain.” Yuzu smiles. “I want Javi to be happy and I’m so proud but I-“ Yuzu swallows roughly. “It will be hard, training without you.”

“It’s going to be hard for both of us, for sure.” Javi strokes his thumbs over the apples of Yuzu’s cheeks and Yuzu turns his head into it, nuzzling their still joint hands. “But we can make it work. We’re Olympic medallists. You’re a double Olympic _gold_ medalist,” Javi teases. Yuzu’s laugh catches in the back of his throat. This all still feels a bit surreal. “There’s nothing that we can’t do, okay?”

Yuzu gazes at Javi, at that familiar fire burning in his eyes, and feels something catch and spark in his own chest. 

“Yes,” Yuzu says, nodding firmly. “Just one thing to promise me. While I’m training hard in Canada and Javi is in Spain, teaching children and become huge skating celebrity, don’t forget me, okay?”

Javi’s answering laugh is loud and joyful. Yuzu’s nose scrunches when he hears it. 

“You have my word. I will never, ever forget you.”

Yuzu nods, leans in to seal Javi’s promise with a kiss. Javi’s mouth parts, warm and wet, beneath his, and Yuzu luxuriates in kissing him for as long as he can before he has to pull away to breathe, his cheeks flushed with delight. 

“Now we don’t have misunderstandings, we can sleep? So tired.” 

“Of course we can, come here.” Javi lays himself back down on the bed and pulls on Yuzu’s hands to encourage him to follow. Yuzu needs little invitation. He flops down by Javi’s side and squirms around until he finds his comfortable position from earlier. One of their hands is still joined and Yuzu smiles tiredly down at them where Javi has dropped them to rest against his stomach. 

“Goodnight, Javi,” Yuzu mumbles. 

Yuzu feels Javi shift against him and he smiles, eyes fluttering shut, when he feels lips pressed to the crown of his head. 

“Goodnight, my love.”

They fall silent, after that, with nothing more than the sound of Javi’s heart beating steadily between them. 

Things would be hard between them from now on. They’d have to fight to keep going. But, Yuzu thinks as he drifts off into a long, hard earned sleep, he learnt a long time ago that nothing that’s worth anything in life comes easily; Javi was worth every hardship, and then some. 

The hardest fought victories were always the sweetest, after all.


End file.
